Annie’s Blog

So there hasn’t been much posting here. But there has been on FACEBOOK! Yes, I joined it, and yes, I’ve added every sinlge application I could and spent bugger all time talking to my loved ones who live abroad. But I have been using it for productive purposes as well. I swear.

So the final results of the project eh?… Well here’s what I think.

So, the analysis of my wide image.

SETTING

I have set my wide image in a empty green paddock with a somewhat misty quality because it represents my home in country Victoria, but also the time that I spent living in England when I was younger. I have chosen an empty setting because it allows me to put into the image the things that I believe are most important and representative of me at this current point in my life. It also represents my interest and immersion in fiction. I am an avid reader and enjoy using my imagination, and from a young age I have enjoyed tales of magic and the middleages, particularly centered around England and Wales. I find that I have somewhat of an obsession to some extent with fantasy worlds, and often day dream, and so the empty paddock is represents the blank canvas of my mind, ready to accomodate new stories and imaginings.

MY AVATAR

Despite my obsession with fantasy and imagination, I have very little illusion when it comes to myself, and believe that I know myself and personality quite well, and that I am quite well grounded despite my tendancy to withdraw from the real world sometimes. To represent this I have made my avatar as similar as I could to the way that I appear physically in real life. I wasn’t interested in creating a ‘beautiful’ avatar, because this doesn’t reflect me, I am not perfect physically or as a person, no one is, and so rather than try and create the perfect avatar I attempted to keep it as ‘real’ as possible. It is also reflective of the fact that in real life I am quite average and just an easy going normal everyday kind of person.

OBJECTS

I have placed my avatar in a bed because this is where I find the most comfort and feel safest. Sometimes I like to get away from the world and think and I often do this lying on my bed. I also tend to retreat into my subconscious through sleep when stressed, angry, depressed or bored. Sleep is an escape for me from the real world, and this links in with the idea of the paddock as a retreat from the real world as well. I am also a deep sleeper and dreamer, and so another way to escape into fantasy is to sleep, and so the bed is a gateway to the deeper parts of my mind and imagination.

The dragon behind the bed is a symbol of my ability to become fiercly protective o the things that are important to me, my friends and independace, and also  my freedom. It to is representative of my childhood obsession with fantasy and tales of grandeur, as well as being the national symbol of Wales. I have been intrigued by Wales from a young age, both its history, mystisism and landscape.

The book at the dragons feet is representative of my ambition to be a librarian, and my childhood dream to be a writer, however it is also my chosen form of entertainment. As a child I didn’t have a television for many years, and so reading was and still is a huge part of my life and has shaped my personality, I believe retreating into books as a child has made an impact on my personality in that I now prefer to be by myself or with a small group of people, and am quite comfortable doing my own thing, rather than seeking out other people to entertain me.

The quartered circle is my family. I am the youngest of four siblings, (the four quarters of the circle) and the poles represent my parents. Despite the fact that my parents are divorced we are still a very close family and stay in touch. I am friends with all of my siblings and my parents, not just related to them. I often feel that we are strange compared to most families because of this, and certainly haven’t come across a similar dynamic in other family groups that I’ve observed. The cross also illudes to my families Celtic heritage, and once more the time that we spent in England. The transulscent man behind the cross is my boyfriend. Although he is very special to me I have put him behind my family and made him transluscent because he may or may not become a permanent part of my life, and because this is uncertain I have made him appear wispy and illusive. He also represents all the people that have come and gone and will come and go from my life now and in the future. The impermanent things and people.
The eggs represent future opertunities and the broken one is ones that have passed or come to be. As I travel through life each opportunity is a new egg to be opened and a chance to discover what is inside and what it will lead to.

The trees and windmill represent my hometown in the country and my preference for farms and paddocks, and country town mentality and social aspects over those of the city. It is in the distance on the horizon because it is somewhere I have come from and somewhere I hope to go back to one day.

And finally I have placed another smaller version of my avatar at the bottom of the screen looking back and observing everyone because I believe that I’m very good at taking myself out of a situation and looking at tit from other people’s point of view. I also am extremely self analysing and like to know what has caused me to act the way I have and what the consequences might be, or what I can do about it. Often when I look at my life I feel like I’m in it, but observing it from the inside, and not always actually engaging in it. It often feels like I am sitting behind the person in the driving seat watching and adding the occcasional comment, but not actually effecting it that much myself.

MySpace

I believe that MySpace is an extremely useful tool for social networking for many people. Its main strength lies in its ability to provide friends and family with a way of keeping in touch and up to date, particularly if their circumstances mean that they have little or no face-to-face contact. Personally I do not engage in MySpace as a user, as the majority of my friends are a part of my day to day life and I have one on one contact with them regularly. I use MySpace as a way of keeping up to date with the few people that I don’t see or talk to regularly, and to brush up on the happenings in my hometown. However I don’t really believe that it has much use in exploring or expanding my own identity, as I do not have my own page. I think that in many respects programs like MySpace are a branch of our celebrity obsessed culture, and have become a tool of self promotion and for many people it is simply a way of boasting to the world how ‘cool’ they are. I honestly believe that the way that many people engage with MySpace is quite pointless, particularly when used to communicate with people that are seen on a day to day basis, but it does serve a purpose in promoting charity events, and has given many struggling bands an opportunity to get their work into the public arena. So it does have its uses, but not in relation to expanding my identity personally.

World Of Warcraft

World of Warcraft is an online game in which players from around the world can engage in a fantasy role playing, creating their own characters and completing quests. It provides an opportunity to engage with other players and people with similar interests on a global scale, whilst providing a form of entertainment. Unlike MySpace, it is not a tool used mainly for blatant self promotion, but serves a purpose as an entertainment medium, whilst providing the extra level of social interaction, even if it isn’t face to face. I enjoy using World Of Warcraft, but I do not play it for its ability to connect users with similar minded people and create friends. For me it is mostly an entertainment medium, but I do use it as a social tool. Players are encouraged to join ‘guilds’, groups made up of players, so that they can complete quests more easily, gain friends and enhance their overall game experience. The guild I am member of is made up entirely of my friends and family that play the game, and I believe it is quite unusual for this very reason. As a general rule guilds are made up of some friends, but mainly consist of groups of users who have never met face to face. World of Warcraft provides me with an entertainment medium that I find enjoyable, whilst also allows me to talk to friends and family that I do not see face-to-face on a regular basis, and so serves two purposes. It is interesting because it allows me to explore the concept of socialising with strangers in an online environment, but still provides a familiar social background through the interaction with friends.

Second Life

Second Life is similar to World of Warcraft in that it works around the concept of strangers in an online environment, and how people’s behaviour changes in the virtual world as apposed to the real world. Whilst making my wide image I engaged in the world of Second Life, and found myself behaving in ways that I would not in real life. The anonimosity of an avatar provides a certain level of comfort, as the reflection of ones actions are on the character you have created, rather than yourself, and so a certain amount of personal freedom is apparent. I believe this is the reason that I was engaging in activities that I wouldn’t in normal life, and also why so many other users are doing like wise. It provides a level of social freedom that isn’t neccessarily available in real life. However it soon lost its appeal, as it provided very little entertainment value, and the novelty of walking along a beach with the top of my buttocks exposed soon wore off. Beyond its ability to provide social anonimity, Second Life has very little to offer me personally. I found that there was very little I could do in the program that I couldn’t do in real life, with the exception of flying and meeting strangers, and I find that World of Warcraft provides both of these things in a far more entertaining format, whilst also providing a challenge.

Text Messaging

This is one of my main ways of communication with people that I do not see on a daily basis. Although I find that I do not send and recieve nearly as many messages as other people I know, it is a very useful tool and one that has become part of my everyday life. I believe that life would be far less easy or convenient were it not for mobile phones and text messaging. Often I have found myself thinking ‘How did people get anything done before mobile phones?’ when friends have messaged me telling me that they are going to be late, but are on their way. Before mobiles people would have had to plan meetings and social interactions far in advance, and been punctual. In a way I think that is a good thing, however it also means that a certain amount of spontinaety is lost when one can’t simply pick up a phone and text message a friend. I use text messaging for several reasons. To keep in touch with people and organise social outings and engaments. I also use it to send friends and loved ones random messages, telling them I am thinking of them, or recent news, and so it is a social tool and not simply an organisational one.

Many Eyes

Although I didn’t personally create a survey using Many Eyes, I see the value in the program. It is a way of collecting and displaying data that can not only be interesting, but useful in understanding social interaction and personality. I believe that it serves a great purpose in research and understanding social groups, culture and society. However I don’t believe it has much use in expanding or exploring ones own personality. It provides little opportunity to express oneself beyond the questions that you pose and the layout of the information gathered. And beyond displaying gathered information for others to see, there is little or no social interaction. So Many Eyes is a useful tool for studying and understanding others and society as a whole, but not so much on a personal basis.

My Blog

And finally my blog. My blog isn’t really a reflection of myself in terms of layout and design. Or is it? I’m not saying that because it’s a generic mass produced layout that it somehow represents me as a person, and conveys the message that I’m a generic mass produced individual of a monotinous and boring society. However the fact that I have chosen to leave it plain, rather than decorating it with pictures of my friends or family, or photographs I have taken is a reflection of my personality. I’m not terribly artisitic in a visual sense. And although I enjoy the aesthetic qualities of life, I have a fair bit of trouble contributing to them. Also for me my blog is about my course work and my university degree, and so I don’t put much personal content into it. I guess that this is similar to the reason that I don’t use MySpace. I prefer to provide the personal side of my blog through the content of my writing and posts, rather than in an aesthetic or aural sense. I have always been a more literature based person, and quite enjoy writing, and so this is evident in the way that I engage with my blog. It is a useful medium for reflecting, researching and presenting my work and thoughts, but I am a fairly private person, and don’t feel the need or urge to put personal content in my blog, just as I wouldn’t on a MySpace or Facebook page. I really don’t like the idea of my personal life or work being available on a public level, certainly a global public level. I think this stems from the fact that I very rarely showcase my work or thoughts for those that I know quite well on a personal level, and am unwilling to come across as arrogant or self promotional, and this is why I try to keep my blog as unobtrusive as possible. I’m not interested in being showcased for the world.

An exercise for integrated media:

I believe that my childhood has had a huge impact on my current identity, indeed the same goes for all people. Its a given really.

Childhood is the most significant time in the shaping of our individual personality and identity. Its the time when we are most influencial, when we learn and develope our social skills, starting with the interaction we have with our parents and family, then other children our own age, in preschool, and then children of varying ages in juniour school. We also learn about interacting with adults that aren’t our parents or family, and how interaction differs with those that we aren’t familiar with or related to.

I personally believe that my childhood was unusual in many ways compared to other peoples. I am the youngest of four children, all two years apart in age, two girls and two boys. And a a very young age, about three or four, my family moved to England and lived there for eighteen months. I was at an age when the world around you, not just your family social environment, begins to have a large impact on shaping your future self. It was also at a time when I was beggining to get a grasp on the English language, and as a result of my young age at the time, I returned to Australia and started junior school with an English accent, whilst my older siblings retained their Australian ones. This resulted in many of the children during my first few years of school, believing that I was infact born overseas, and in my small country town this made me seem somewhat exotic, or certainly different. The same goes for what little preschooling I experienced in England. The other children knew that I was Australian, and therefor somewhat mysterious.

I have very little recollection of my father playing a large part in my early years. He was often at work, and I in bed by the time he returned home at night. My mother is big on discipline, but fair discipline of children, and so I was rarely out of bed after seven thirty at night. Even in summer. Trying to sleep whilst the sun is up outside and your siblings are playing is quite frustrating for a small child.

When I was in year four my parents divorced and I chose to move to another town an hour away with my mother, whilst still attending the same school. My siblings stayed with my father, and so did the television. We later moved back to my home town when I was in year six, but mum decided that television wasn’t a good idea still, and so I lived for six years without a television in my home. I had always been encouraged to be able to entertain myself, and was quite often happy in my own company as a child. This is something that has definately carried on into my current life. I still find it almost impossible to watch more than an hour of television at a time, and even sometimes struggle to watch DVD’s. I have a problem with my entertainment being dictated to me, especially through a screen. I have always preffered reading or computer games, because they have an interactive and somewhat imaginative element compared to television or film. I also am quite happy in my own company, and despite having a reasonable sized group of friends, very rarely do I find myself bored or lonely, and in constant need of a companion or distraction.

I spent alot of time reading as a child, or playing outside and inventing my own games and stories, and believe that this had a huge impact on my imagination as a child, and also my grasp of language and so, despite being a very quiet child, I had quite an extended vocabulary for a 12 year old. Now at 20 I find that my eloquency has lessened somewhat, but it still makes itself known every now and again.

I would describe myself as a fairly quiet reserved person most of the time, quite happy to keep to myself. I do not actively seek out new relationships or friendships. This I think is in part due to the two years I spent living with my mother. Travelling an hour to school everyday, and an hour back, meant that I didn’t have much time to hang out with other children my age, and the other children on the school bus were all much older than me. I also didn’t have any friends in my new town, having not been put in a situation where I was able to meet anyone my own age. However I was quite often exposed to older people, the adults in my mothers TAFE course. Upon returning to my home town in year six I became almost a social recluse, and had trouble talking to the other people at school, and didn’t like going down the street or shopping with my mother etc. I had a fear of strangers that I soon outgrew, but I believe that this has a lot to do with the fact that I am a fairly anti social person now in later life.

However when I do get to know someone, or am comfortable with someone, I become quite boisterous and ridiculous, my cynical and often sarcastic sense of humour comes out, and I enjoy making people laugh. In great contrast to my ‘normal’ self. This I think is mainly due to the fact that I’m the youngest child in a reasonable sized family, and so often had to make myself bigger and louder to make myself noticed and to find my own niche within my family stucture, something that I wasn’t comfortable doing around strangers, but once again rears its head amongst those I am comfortable with.

So yeah. That’s how my childhood has effected my identity I guess. Perhaps a little deep, and far more open than I would normally be in an online environment, but hey, everybodies got try new things, eh?

With this project I have attempted to explore the idea of Public vs. Private on the Web, particularly in regards to the ‘voice’ or ‘persona’ we adopt in the Web environment.

The project is based around a interactive tour of my bedroom, the color half of the image representing the private self, the one that we share with our friends and our family, and sometimes on websites such as homepages or MySpace.

The black and white half of the image represents the public voice. The one that we adopt for strangers. The idea of the project is to demonstrate the voices or personas that we adopt on the web, to draw attention to these voices and demonstrate their differences, but also the way that the web allows for either one to be used, depending on how we wish to put ourselves foward. The Web is a very public space, perhaps the most public space ever known, where strangers from all around the globe are able to access the information that you put foward, and interpret it how they will. The rules of social interaction are far different on the Web to what they are in real life, and yet despite being such a public space, many of users put foward their most intimate thoughts and feelings, open to public access.

But this raises the question of authenticity. How do we know that these details or stories are true? That they aren’t just some complete fabrication, like the lonelygirl15 saga.

I have attempted to address this in my project by adopting not only public and private voices, but through the voice over narration as well. The stories in the public voice are true, although I have attempted to make them seem as though they were made up, by making them slightly more melodramatic and some of them sound as though they are being read from a script. They are read in the first person to create a feeling of intimacy, to represent the private voice.

The black and white half of the image is also truthful, but through its less exaggerated style and narrative it is supposed to appear more truthful than the private half. These narrations were performed in the third person to create a representation of the public voice.

Overall the project is supposed to draw attention to the Public vs. Private nature of the Web, and the problem of authenticity in an online environment.

How is it different from my draft and the original concept? My original concept was quite hazy. I wanted to explore the idea of public vs. private, but was going about it in the wrong way. The original work was not focused enough. Rather than experimenting with or demonstrating the public and private aspects of the Web, it became an interactive tour of my house where you could click on things and gain a limited amount of information, but it didn’t clearly demonstrate either public or private Web space or persona. The final is far more focused and structured than the first draft. I have limited it to my bedroom, still a personal space, perhaps the most intimate of all the spaces in ones home. I havve also added more consistency, not only within the look and the links, but the stories and information that can be obtained. There is a purpose behind the narratives in the project that go beyond simply giving information, they also demonstrate the idea of public and private.

I had to make these changes as the original concept was too up in the air, it didn’t say or do anything. It didn’t demonstrate or challenge anything about the Web and its structure, and it failed to address any of the themes raised in Weinbergers book. It is now easier to use and navigate through, but also demonstrates and idea or concept.

PROJECT

At the start of the semester I wrote a post about how my blog would become a thinking/doing media channel. Some of the points that I made about going about this were:

The posting of both Audio and Visual Content

Regular and varied entry (in both content and voice)

Posts about course work

Posts about skills I am learning and abilities I have gained through the course work

Posts that demonstrate my learning/skills

Creativity within posts

Overall I believed that I have managed to achieve most of these points. I posted regularly (certainly more so than last year) and attempted to vary my posts as often as possible, although quite often they related to the final project or course work, and although there was a good number of posts, they could have varied more in content and topics.

I regularly posted video/audio/and visual content and believe that these posts not only demonstrate what I have learnt this semester but also my ability to put it into practice.

Did you do what you said you would?

I believe that I have covered the topics that I first outlined quite well, with the exception of varied content, which could have been improved. ALthough I still have a little teouble writing in my blog, I’m still struggling to engage with it to the extent that other students have, I do feel I have improved, and will continue to do so.
Did what you said you would do turn out to be relevant anyway (did
you choose the right criteria)?
The criteria I chose was relevant to the coursework and also my learning as I nominated areas that I knew I struggled in and would have to really put effort into.

How has your blog helped you? In what ways?
My blog has helped me to become comfortable with putting my work, both finished and in progress, in a public arena for viewing. Normally I would shy away from putting my creative or academic work somewhere for even my friends to see, let alone anyone with internet access around the world. It has also helped and inspired me in my course work as I was able to view other classmates work and gain inspiration and ideas, as well as discuss topics raised in class. It has helped me to network both within class and out.

Do you think your blog may have helped others? in what ways?

See above
How is your blog now a media channel? (why? why not?)

I believe that in many ways mt blog could now be considered a media channel, as it displays audio/visual/ and video content of my work in progress, and will continue to do so. It is a way for the public to engage with the media that I am creating. That being said it is quite obvious that it still needs work to be the best that it can. It is still fairly self contained and enclosed, I rarely link out to toher site or blogs of interest, and could utilize it as a research tool. It provides many different opportunities, many of which I am yet to explore, however I do believe that it is getting to be well on its way to becoming a ‘Media Channel’.

(Low End Distinction)

You would not believe the last four and a half hours. I was so close to finishing my project. I downloaded it from my student file on the server and got ready to finish off, but no dice. All the pictures were missing. Now worries easily solved right? WRONG. I fixed it all up, went to export it and it cracked em, hardcore.

So I started it AGAIN! Now it is complete, or basically complete. There may still be a few tweaks before it’s done completely. There may not. I’m pretty sure there won’t be. So here ’tis. The final version of my Integrated Media One Project…

Project